As I’m writing this, it’s January 23, and I’m eleven days into
a 21‑day social media fast.
I started this fast because I noticed something I didn’t love:
with everything happening in the world, I was getting pulled
into mindless Instagram scrolling… or worse, deep‑diving
into conspiracy theory rabbit holes. Yup. I’m that person.
This morning, I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast featuring
a neurologist who talked about dopamine detoxing and
how many of us are addicted to something, especially our
phones. And honestly, it hit a little too close to home.
I’ve been feeling more and more nudged to step away from
my phone, and here’s what I’ve noticed so far:
• I’m paying more attention to what’s right in front of
me
• My husband and I are having more real
conversations
• We’re no longer on our phones during meals
• I’m reading more, writing more, and thinking more
clearly
And… I’m also noticing some less flattering things:
• My brain still tries to get a dopamine hit by
convincing me I’m being “productive,” like scrolling an
online store for new light fixtures
• I have to resist the urge to check my phone first
thing in the morning
• I’m realizing how often I carry my phone with me –
even to the bathroom
• I’m pushing through some FOMO
• My brain keeps whispering, “You’ve already gone
11 days… that’s more than most people. Do you really
need to do all 21?”
In short, I’ve realized something important:
I lost my agency with my phone.
And that realization opened a bigger question for me:
Where else in my life have I lost agency?
What Is Agency, Really?
Agency is your God‑given ability to choose your thoughts,
your responses, your boundaries, and the direction of your
life.
It’s the inner freedom to act from intention instead of
autopilot, fear, conditioning, or old stories.
Agency is what allows you to say:
• This is who I am.
• This is what I need.
• This is how I want to show up.
• And I get to choose again, as many times as I need
to. It’s not about perfection or power.
It’s about ownership, presence, and the quiet courage to
return to yourself.
Where Have We Lost Agency?
Where have we handed over our power without even
noticing?
Where are we doing the very things we said we wouldn’t
do… again and again and again?
Maybe it’s phone use, video gaming, or social media.
Maybe it’s sweets, coffee, wine, or late‑night Netflix when
you only meant to watch one episode.
Maybe it’s saying yes when your whole body is begging
you to say no.
Maybe it’s overbooking, overcommitting, or refusing to let
yourself say, “This is good enough.”
This week, I want us to gently explore what agency looks
like in our lives and take an honest inventory of where we
may have lost it or slowly given it away.
Tune In to the Newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed yet, go
ahead and do so..
We’ll go deeper there with prompts, practices, and
reflections to help you reclaim what’s yours.
March is all about marching back to ourselves and taking
back the places where we’ve lost control or handed it away
piece by piece.
You’re not alone in this. We’re doing it together.
Tami